I strive for perfection, but all I ever manage to get is marginally acceptable. I'm terrible at social interaction. I always manage to get it totally right online, but, I don't do so great at it in real life. It sucks how you can put a million ounces of effort into it, and still fail so miserably. I'm a terrible judge at what's supposed to remain hidden and what's supposed to be ok. What to say, what to not say, when to speak, when to remain silent. I'm awful at filtering. I rush, I strive, I try, I do everything I can to be perfect, but it's disgustingly clear that one minor infraction undoes everything in an instant. The only way to be perf

Realists are always seen as pessimists by the ignorant. I try not to shatter the innocence of those who have not faced the harsh realities in life through personal experiences. There is a balance I try to find between the harm I cause and the good I accomplish. It is not an easy balance, it requires careful consideration of every action I take and every word I share with others. If the good I can affect (in the world) can outweigh the harm I cause (to their peace of mind) by sharing my experiences, then it is worth the innocence lost. However, it requires a huge amount of potential good to counteract the loss of ignorance/innocence. For this

I have a mother who demands attention. I am expected to write her, she is so adamant about forcing this relationship that she sends me stacks of pre-addressed stamped envelopes with cards and writes the dates I should send them back to her on them (for example, she puts in a birthday card, and expects me to send it to her on her birthday, she puts in an Anniversary card and puts her anniversary date on it to be sent to her then). She's the queen of passive-aggressive. Just thinking about her makes me shake and feel nauseous, and gives me nightmares for several nights after "speaking" to her. She's always sending me boxes of gifts, usually thi